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Frustrated... | mollyb1972's Blog


I am entirely frustrated with...Christians.  Or rather, people who like to call themselves Christians but don't act at all Christian-like. 

I've gone through my life trying to find something that makes sense, where the people aren't hypocrites, where I can fit in and feel good about the people I am surrounded by.  Instead what I have found is people praising God and preaching how we should be and then turning around and doing things I'm sure God would not approve of.

We are all sinners - fact.  The difference between the good and the bad - in my mind anyway - is recognizing that you have sinned, asking for forgiveness and then doing the best you can to not do it again.  It's far more complex than that, I understand, however to wrap it up in a sentence that's how I will put it. 

Twice in the last month I have had a bad taste left in my mouth - and dread in my soul - from encounters (direct or indirect) with "God-Fearing-Christians."  And this just in the last month...let's not get into what I've gone through with these people throughout my entire life...

First - my fiance's EX.  She boasts about  how good she is.  How Christian she is.  How awesome she is.  And turns around and says some down-right nasty shit about me, to me, about Jim, to Jim.  She is manipulative and evil.  And mentally insane - if I had to take a gander.  I've kept my mouth shut listening to her for over a year go on about how much better she is than me and how Jim should be with her because she is a "Good Christian Girl" and well - me, I'm just a lost soul.  Really?  I'm Christian.  I'm not perfect...but I have NEVER done anything to anyone out of hatred or malice.  I have made many mistakes - many many many mistakes - but I can say I have never been mean for the sake of being mean or for the sake of gaining something.  And this fine Christian woman has lied, cheated, manipulated...and worse...to gain and NOT to gain for the greater good - to gain simply because she doesn't want it but she doesn't want anyone else to have it either.  She is a greedy whore and she is going to judge me???  I don't usually get so nasty but she IS greedy and she is a cheater and a liar.  I am not. 
This is a long story for another day, maybe.  The point is I finally let her have it - I wasn't nasty or mean or evil in doing so but I just pointed out that while she is calling me all this stuff I have PROOF of the same that she is what she is calling me.  Christian, my ass.

Next, my friend (or whatever she is - I have a hard time defining our relationship) is married.  Her hubs made some serious mistakes.  Things came to a head.  She told him to figure out what he wanted and to get help.  Sounds reasonable, right?  It was reasonable up to that point.  The hubs "makes up his mind" to stay with her, he is sorry and he will get help. 

Then things changed...now he has to give her all of his money and NOT come home until he gets help.  Where the hell is he supposed to stay?  With what means can he live?  The demands are impossible and unreasonable and she's kicked him out.  OK when I say serious mistakes I mean that he has a massive sex drive and she does not.  He got upset about it.  Said some not so nice things.  And what he did, while serious and NOT right, are fixable.  There is a solution and he is willing to do all he can to fix it.  He recognizes that he made a huge mistake and wants to make it right.  Isn't forgiveness a Christian thing?  Instead she is holding it over his head.  Period. 

She goes to Church two or three times a week.  She goes to revivals.  She is all about God and Christianity on her facebook and then she acts like this.  What's worse is she has manipulated so many people into feeling sorry for her.  I know her from way back and she has manipulated people like this for as long as I've known her.  And people buy it.  I am sure eventually this little town will figure her out - some people already have, me included.  Whatever kind of Christianity they teach her in her Church - I don't want to be a part of.  Where have all the good people gone?

I know, deep down, that not everyone is like that.  I DO know that.  But where are they?  I've been to a lot of places.  All over my country.  To other countries.  And something happened somewhere that the recent and current generations of Christian society are passing along a message that isn't appealing.  Something needs to be fixed - because if this is how Christians act I don't want any part of it.  I hold on to hope that things will get right somehow...

In the meantime, I'm converting to Catholicism.  It's a personal choice based on my own experiences and opinions and I think it's the right choice for me.  The Catholics I know would never throw their hubs or wife out to the wolves without putting forth some effort to right the wrong.  The Catholics I know recognize that I am not perfect, that they are not perfect, but understand forgiveness is divine.  Those simple concepts are appealing to me - they make sense to me and for the first time in a long time I can belong and believe in something bigger than myself that doesn't turn around and belittle me in such a way that I walk out feeling worse about myself than when I walked in. 


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